Iran's Other

In Tehran, one immediately notices Afghani men on the streets. They're frequently seen on construction sites, and on street corners, where they wait for foremen to drive by in their pick-ups, looking for day laborers. They keep to themselves, try not to attract too much attention, and are largely ignored by Iranians. Everyone has something to say about Afghanis, but few have any contact with them. The commentaries are standard fare applied to underdog immigrants in many countries: poor and wretched creatures fleeing from the horrors of civil war and the reactionary Taleban, and/or parasites taking the precious few available jobs away from the locals, making a bad job market even worse. The parallels with other countries' Others don't stop there. Many here ignore the fact that the two million Afghani men and women often do jobs that are considered beneath Iranians, and that employers and the economy have depended on Afghani cheap labor (Afghanis earn between 12-60% of Iranians' wages).

While there has been much coverage of the joint effort between Iran and the UN High Commission for Refugees to send back thousands of illegal immigrants to Afghanistan, there is little coverage on Afghani woman still living in Iran. If Afghani men are invisible presences on the streets, Afghani women are invisible tout court. They stay at home, tending to their domestic responsibilities, and to their wage labor - sewing, rug weaving, making handicrafts and prayer beads, peeling pistachios, broom making, straightening crooked nails, and planting vegetables. Afghanis in Tehran live on the outskirts of the city, as in Shahriar or Var-a-meen, and the women rarely venture out of those boundaries. One exception might be to visit the office of the UNHCR, located in an affluent area in northern Tehran, or the Afghan embassy in the city center, which supports President Rabbani' s government in exile.

Ms. Kazemi works in both offices, as a legal adviser and family counselor. Since many Afghanis have no legal standing and their marriages are not recognized, the UN and the Afghani embassy have set up a legal/family section, composed of judges and counselors to mediate domestic disputes. Kazemi is also active in the UN's assistance programs, where they provide monetary support to female-headed households, and employment opportunities to Afghani women, by providing sewing and rug weaving classes and equipment. The women are registered with the UNHCR, and UN employees make monthly visits to the women. Identification cards are required to qualify for such programs, but if one member of a group of Afghanis has a card, it is enough for the whole group to qualify. The group reports back to the UNHCR on a regular basis, providing updates on their wages and productivity levels, and suchlike. The UN used to also provide books and school supplies, but since the Iranian government ordered Afghani schools shut down — so as to increase pressure on Afghanis to return home - this service has been terminated.

The long line at the UNHCR is filled with Afghani men and women looking for financial assistance, or seeking visas to other countries. Currently, Canada, Norway, Denmark, and Finland accept an annual quota of Afghan refugees. Kazemi says that Afghanis apply indiscriminately in the hopes that one of the countries will accept them. Those who are the worst off get accepted, she explained. Most of the Afghanis who come to her office complain of financial problems due to their lack of work permits. Many do not have residency or identification cards of any sort.

Many live in fear of deportation, and spend a great deal of time dodging officials. The police have now started hiring female officers for house searches because Afghani men hide in beds and bathrooms, while their wives tell the officers that, well, they can't go in there, because a daughter is in there sleeping, or a sister is taking a shower. Male officers can't afford to ignore these warnings and thereby risk awkward encounters.

While there are some Afghanis who welcome the opportunity to return home, many women do not want to go back. While establishing new lives on foreign territory, the women seem to be taking advantage of the destabilized power relations within the family. Men's domination is being questioned, and women are challenging local traditions and norms that are becoming increasingly difficult to preserve in Iran. Many come to Kazemi in the hope of solving the resulting family problems. According to her, family conflicts arise in two areas: Afghani women's refusal to abide by traditional demands of total obedience, or interference by in-laws. This is not surprising, seeing the role of parents in marriage arrangements, and the young couples living with the husband's family. Many extended Afghani families have broken up by virtue of immigration, and the search for employment. They are no longer living in their Afghani villages, and community ties have been broken. In the absence of such structures, and in the presence of new ones, Afghani women are stepping out.

Kazemi tries to prevent the tensions and conflicts from leading to break-ups among young couples. She tries to help them preserve marriages that will perhaps be different, yet still acceptable. "If your in-laws start interfering in your marriage, ignore them. Go home and work on your relationship," she tells them. Advice of the kind, however - to disregard their parents' demands - inevitably creates a crisis in the family power structure.

Since many Afghanis do not have legal status in Iran, the Afghani embassy has set up a legal office for the settling of family disputes. Kazemi explains, "Even if there are cases of divorce, most crises are overcome. We solve about 500-600 cases a year." Mr. Ehasan ol-Hagh, formerly a family judge in Afghanistan, also works at the Embassy as a mediator. His judgeship responsibilities back home was limited to writing up marriage contracts and resolving disputes over the bride-price and dowry. There were almost no discussions of divorce, much less litigating them. He believes that many Shiite Afghanis have migrated to Iran for religious reasons, "to preserve their honor and esteem." But he also points to the chaos and destruction caused by the armed conflict, and the search for educational opportunities for the children.

When asked about the crisis in the marital power structure, "Women have complete freedom here," Kazemi replies. "Men can't impose their will on women indiscriminately, as they do in Afghanistan." She describes the shifting demands and expectations of women: "In Afghanistan, it is not proper for a woman to leave the house. Her husband determines when and if she leaves, and if she does not return on time or before sunset, she might as well go back to her parents' home, and not bother returning. But here, when couples argue, Afghani woman tell their husbands, ‘This is not Afghanistan, you can't push me around here. Women have rights here, I can go and complain.'…Some women talk openly about abuse, and they have doctors confirm and document it. Their friends and neighbors tell them to file complaints. They tell them to take advantage of their rights."

Ever since living in Iran, Ehsan ol-Hagh, has become a new man: "In Afghanistan, even if a woman worked, she had to fulfill her domestic responsibilities. She was still expected to serve dinner for her husband. We've learned a few things from Iranians. I've seen the changes in my own life. I've learned to cook, and sometimes I help around the house.

"In the 12 years that I was a judge in Afghanistan, I saw spouses who were willing to kill, but not divorce. 90% of our marriages are arranged by our parents. It's not like Iran, where young people socialize, and choose their own marriages. Parents conducted the searches for proper marriages for their children. They went and saw the bride and inquired into her family's background. They would talk to the neighbors, the local shop owners, etc. The bride and groom didn't even see each other until after they were engaged. Sometimes, years would pass before they would see each other. Because the marriages were planned logically, with the wisdom of the parents, all the necessary information was obtained beforehand. Marriages did not result from emotions and all that, and it was partially for this reason that there were such few divorces.

"But in countries like Iran, and in Europe, people marry out of emotion. They meet on the streets, at the movies, etc. Marriages that were planned by parents do not end in divorce, because our parents are wise and experienced. My own son did not even have a high school diploma when he married his wife, a medical student. They've been happily married for 5 years now, and have not encountered any problems, because we arranged his marriage. I'm a judge, and my parents picked my wife, who is my cousin on my mother's side. I had no objections, and we're still happily living together."

Since Afghani immigrants don't have the same communal ties available to them, some young couples are marrying independent of parental interference. A more common consequence, however, is that parents marry off their daughters out of financial necessity. "Many parents feel they have no choice but to marry off their daughters for the sake of the bride-price. They don't know the groom very well, or sometimes he's a stranger- something that was unheard of before," Kazemi explains.

Most Afghanis have so-called averagan (vagrant) cards, rather than refugee status, and there are many with no cards at all. And although some have legitimate fears of returning due to past political activities, Iran no longer provides political refugee status. When asked about overall relations between Iranians and Afghanis, Ms. Kazemi had a diplomatic answer at hand, "Iranians have their own problems. College graduates are facing unemployment. There is a lot of tension and stress. But in neighborhoods where Afghanis and Iranians live side by side, they get along quite well." Ehsan ol-Hagh was a little more defensive, "Afghanis have families to support, kids to feed. They work a lot and don't ask for much, they accept whatever income they earn. And not all Afghanis are laborers. There are engineers, doctors, merchants, etc. 200,000 laborers in a population of 60 million, that's not much. There's a lot of work here. Afghanis aren't taking that much away.

"So Iranians have a problem with us. But what can Afghanis do? Resort to theft and end up in prison? They have to work after all."

On the issue of the lives of women in Afghanistan, Kazemi was a little more forthcoming. "Afghani women have no right to work in Afghanistan. But they go outside, and they are permitted to shop for groceries and the like. They wear their burqa and go out. However, women cannot buy jewelry or fabric alone, for example, because these are not considered necessities. Their husbands or sons must accompany them into the store. For the women to be able to do shopping alone, merchandise is sometimes displayed outside. But before the Taleban, women could shop freely, and they attended universities. We have many educated Afghani women." ("We are facing a culture of poverty", Ehasan ol-Hagh mumbled to himself.)

Like in the early days of the Islamic Republic, women are only allowed to work as physicians and midwives, to treat female patients. However, they are no longer allowed to work in offices or bureaus, or in any other administrative capacity. Since girls are not allowed to attend schools, it will be interesting to see what the Taleban will do when they realize they have no incoming female health workers to replenish the old.

Along with immigration has come intermarriage, with all its confusing cultural and legal ramifications. In Iran, it is not common for an Iranian woman to marry an Afghani man, and in fact, in 1990, it became illegal. Even the person who performs the marriage ceremony is subject to criminal charges. And those who married before 1990 are in a state of insecurity, because there are no clear laws regarding them or their children. It's currently up to the judges' discretion.

Kazemi thinks there are good reasons why it became this way. She launches into one inter-marital horror story after another: "One Iranian woman was 13 years old when she married. An Afghani man had seen her on the streets, followed her home, and told her parents that he was rich and successful, and that after marriage, he would take her to Afghanistan. Upon her arrival there, she discovered that he already had a wife, but her husband explained that his first wife was sterile. In fact, that first wife ends up giving birth the following year. The 13 year-old, who also bears him a child, returns home, but her parents won't accept her. So she gets a job at a nursery and raises the child, and years later, her husband returns, saying that he wants his child back. They came here, and we persuaded him to give her a divorce and let her keep the child.

"There was another girl who was 14 years old, and whose mother was an addict. She married an Afghani man, gave birth to four children. When he abandoned them and went back to Afghanistan, she discovered that Iran didn't recognize Afghani children. We tried to take the children to the child welfare department, but they refused to look into the case. She's now applying for an absentee divorce because her husband has now been in Afghanistan for about five years.

"Then there were two sisters from Gorgan who were married off to two Afghani men who paid a mere 1000 tomans [$1.20] for the bride-price. The girls wrote to us and said that their husbands had turned out to be poor shepherds, not the successful businessmen they had said they were. They were living in a small village in the mountains. And the women wanted out. We replied that we couldn't help them and that they had to appeal to the Foreign Ministry.

"Afghanis don't have this problem, because they see marriage between an Afghani woman and Iranian man as fundamentally wrong. Even if they like the idea, and the benefits, they don't trust him. Afghani parents don't like to give their daughters to an Afghani from another city, much less an Iranian. There's a saying, ‘Until we know his cemetery, we won't give our daughter.' But Iranians are not so picky. They give their daughters freely."

MS